English Jokes : Home Page Page No : 3
1) 3 friends [Santa, Banta and Manta] were planning to start
a new business together to earn some money.
Santa: Hey guys I got a good plan, we will open a petrol pump.
father: why
LKG son: she already loved 2 persons
father: how did u know
LKG son: she told me " i love u 2"
“Wouuuu-Wouuuuu” and the other –
“Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red..”
1) 3 friends [Santa, Banta and Manta] were planning to start
a new business together to earn some money.
Santa: Hey guys I got a good plan, we will open a petrol pump.
[All agreed and finally opened a petrol pump, but did not get even a single customer].
Why??? Because, they opened it on first floor.
Banta: Santa, your plan fails, I got another one, we will start a restaurant.
Banta: Santa, your plan fails, I got another one, we will start a restaurant.
[All agreed and finally opened a restaurant, but did not get a single customer].
Why??? Because, they did not change the name board of petrol pump.
Manta: You both cannot give any good ideas, I got a good one, we will start run a cab.
Manta: You both cannot give any good ideas, I got a good one, we will start run a cab.
[All agreed and finally bought a cab, but did not get a single customer].
Why??? Because Santa was driving, Banta & Manta were sitting on back seats.
2) Three Indian soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa
Singh are captured by Pakistani Army. The Pakistani Corp commander doesnot
want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are asked
what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosai, which he is served and then taken away.
The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken away.
Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti. The captors are surprised
and reply ' Sarson?'
'Yes, Sarson.'
'Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!'
'Koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga...'
2) Three Indian soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa
Singh are captured by Pakistani Army. The Pakistani Corp commander doesnot
want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are asked
what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosai, which he is served and then taken away.
The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken away.
Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti. The captors are surprised
and reply ' Sarson?'
'Yes, Sarson.'
'Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!'
'Koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga...'
3) father: did u told " i love u" on that girl.
LKG son: ya, But it is not possiblefather: why
LKG son: she already loved 2 persons
father: how did u know
LKG son: she told me " i love u 2"
4) In an examination hall,
Girl : just tell me the beginning of the answer plz...later i will write on my own..
Then boy looked carefully around,
Boy :"The".....
Girl : just tell me the beginning of the answer plz...later i will write on my own..
Then boy looked carefully around,
Boy :"The".....
Girl : .............................................?
5) Begger : sir..... i didnt eat for seven days.....
house owner: why? are you not hungry?
begger : ?!?!?!............?
house owner: why? are you not hungry?
begger : ?!?!?!............?
6) ram: hai syam where were you last weak
syam: went to tirupathi
ram: when did you reach home
syam: just 15 minutes back
ram: where are you going now
syam: to tirupathi again
ram: why again
syam: i took an oath to visit him again if i reach home safe
syam: went to tirupathi
ram: when did you reach home
syam: just 15 minutes back
ram: where are you going now
syam: to tirupathi again
ram: why again
syam: i took an oath to visit him again if i reach home safe
7) Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude, dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude, dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
8) Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 35 runs.
Sachin: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes, but the students understand the importance of scoring 35.
Sachin: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes, but the students understand the importance of scoring 35.
9) HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl.
He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT
He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT
& in the MIDDLE of River said:
"LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
10) Santa: Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ?
Banta: In case the siren won”t work, one of them to scream“Wouuuu-Wouuuuu” and the other –
“Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red..”
