English Jokes : Home Page Page No : 4
1) After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife.
An Italian asks the nearby Sardar "How far is land from here?"
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface
1) After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled,
"The meaning of dreams"
"The meaning of dreams"
2) The Titanic is going to sink....
Everybody in the ship is crying, running or praying to God...An Italian asks the nearby Sardar "How far is land from here?"
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface
to ask the Sardar something again.
"Just tell me which direction is land two miles from here?"
Sardarji : Downwards......
Wife :- why will you die?
Husband :- because I can't bear that much happiness
Cat - 15 ? but u look so big
Elephant - i am a complan boy
Cat - i am 30
Elephant - 30? but u look so small.
Cat - i am ponds age miracle.
GIRL:-STUPID i am a year Older than u
boy: nevermind, i'll wait till next year :) :
If A Single Teacher
Can't Teach Us All
......The Subjects,
Then
How Could You Expect
A Single Student To Learn
Six Subjects...........................??
American: 1 meter.
Officer: Ok give him one sandwich.
He passes the chines and asks him the same... question. Chinese: 2 meter!
Officer: Ok, give this man 2 sandwiches.
Sardar overheard the officer so he prepared himself so he could get more sandwiches.
santa: Thats so Silly DAD....! Why not take both???
Some hours later the BE guy wakes his MBA friend wakes up and ask
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
"Just tell me which direction is land two miles from here?"
Sardarji : Downwards......
3) Wife :-I will die.
Husband :- I will also die.Wife :- why will you die?
Husband :- because I can't bear that much happiness
4) Cat - how old r u?
Elephant - 15 yearsCat - 15 ? but u look so big
Elephant - i am a complan boy
Cat - i am 30
Elephant - 30? but u look so small.
Cat - i am ponds age miracle.
5) Boy :- l love you
GIRL:-STUPID i am a year Older than u
boy: nevermind, i'll wait till next year :) :
6) Question By The
STUDENTS ...If A Single Teacher
Can't Teach Us All
......The Subjects,
Then
How Could You Expect
A Single Student To Learn
Six Subjects...........................??
7) An american, a chinese, and a sardar are staying together in a prison.
An officer passes by the american and asks him: ''How high can you jump?American: 1 meter.
Officer: Ok give him one sandwich.
He passes the chines and asks him the same... question. Chinese: 2 meter!
Officer: Ok, give this man 2 sandwiches.
Sardar overheard the officer so he prepared himself so he could get more sandwiches.
as the officer asked him: How high can you jump?
Sardar replied: 5 METER! !!
Sardar replied: 5 METER! !!
Officer: KILL THIS MAN HE CAN JUMP OVER OUR WALLS!!!
8) santa: Dad, if you saw a 10$ note and a 5$ note on the floor, which will you take?
Dad: The 10$ of course! santa: Thats so Silly DAD....! Why not take both???
9) A MBA and BE go on a camping trip, set up their tent and fell aseelp.
Some hours later the BE guy wakes his MBA friend wakes up and ask
"look up at the sky and say what your are seeing?".
The MBA guy replies "I see millions of stars.."
"What does that tell you ?" asked BE guy.
The MBA guy ponder for minute and started saying
"Astronomically speaking, it tell s me that there are millions of
"What does that tell you ?" asked BE guy.
The MBA guy ponder for minute and started saying
"Astronomically speaking, it tell s me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentianlly billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn in in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to ne approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's eveident that Lord is all powerfull and we are small insignificant.
Meteorogically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What do you think?" asks MBA student.
The BE is silent for a minute and then speaks.
"Practically, someone has stolen our tent!"
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn in in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to ne approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's eveident that Lord is all powerfull and we are small insignificant.
Meteorogically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What do you think?" asks MBA student.
The BE is silent for a minute and then speaks.
"Practically, someone has stolen our tent!"
10) Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
